Poetry: Why I write it but don’t share it

I have been actively writing poetry for almost three years now. I’m not quite sure why I started writing it. I guess it was just my way of writing how I felt. My poems have turned from confusing teenage emotions to something that might actually resemble art.

For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you know that before I turned this blog into my author page, this was originally a poetry blog. Back then I was comfortable and actually enjoyed sharing my work. When I turned this blog into a author blog and made my author Instagram page I always had the goal to keep sharing poems on my instagram. Now I’ve had that Instagram for five months and still have not shared a single poem.

Why?

Because the thought of sharing my poetry terrifies me.

It’s the only art form that I’m actually scared of showing people. When I think about sending my novel to beta readers and agents it doesn’t scare me at all. It excites me. So why is poetry different? To understand this I have to explain why I write poetry.

I don’t write poems on sunny days when I see a pretty flower. I write poems at two in the morning when I can’t sleep, I write when there’s something in my head that I don’t know how to explain unless I slam a pen in my notebook, I write when I’m sad. Because of this my poems tend to be raw, a little dark and a little sad. If I were to give someone my poems it would be like I was handing them my beating heart.

Another reason is that my poems aren’t beautifully crafted pieces of literature, the don’t rhyme, they don’t have breathtaking visuals, Emily Dickinson is not shaking in her grave. I don’t put enough thought into them as I write them to turn them into masterpieces. Now I know what you’re thinking, Rebecca just go back and edit them. You’re probably right and maybe I should try that but my fear is that if I go back to edit a poem I wrote six months ago, my mindset will have changed so much that the poem will become something completely different from what it originally was. But maybe it won’t, I actually haven’t tried.

So how do I fix all these problems? I need to work on my craft more and get my poems to a place where I’m comfortable with sharing them without taking out any of the darkness. Because I wan’t to share my poems, I love my poems, there have been so many poems that have helped me over the years so if one of my poems can help someone than it is my duty to share it.

To end this rambling post, my point is that I wan’t to share my poems, it’s actually one of my writing goals for the new year. I can’t promise that tomorrow you’ll go on my instagram and you’ll find a poem but I can promise that I will work on it. I can strive to change and grow and maybe for right now that’s enough.

I know this post is a little bit all over the place but I hope you enjoyed it and helped you understand whats going on in my head. If you write poems and can relate to any of this, let me know! I will see you all next week when I talk about all the book series I haven’t finished. Have a great week!

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Email: rebeccacarawayauthor@gmail.com